hello and welcome! this is a site for educating and helping possible demiromantics identify as such.
ల click the heart to proceed ୭
disclaimer: i am relatively new to this, so there may be errors and such in the information displayed. all information is found through the web, sources will be linked at the end of this carrd. i will be giving a few examples that one may or may not relate to, and what every demiromantic experiences may differ from person to person.
now, what is demiromantic?
a demiromantic person is specifically someone who only develops romantic feelings for another person when they have a strong emotional connection to them.
this is our flag!
our four colours are black, white, green and grey. as the actual colours’ meanings have never been defined, here are what the community has been accepting them as:
black: sexualities
white: gender identity
green: the aromantic spectrum
grey: grey-aromantic
demiromantism is part of the aromantic spectrum. some demiroms may consider themselves to be greyromantic, which defines a person who feels romantic attraction under rare or certain circumstances.
however, demiromantism is specific only to people who feel romantic attraction to a person after forming a deep emotional connection or bond with them.
a demiromantic person can be of any sexuality and gender — you could be pansexual and demiromantic, or heterosexual and demiromantic. you can also identify as demi-biromantic (demiromantic & biromantic) or homoromantic demiromantic, etc.
this means a demiromantic can experience sexual attraction but less frequent romantic attraction, and only under the above circumstances. (not specific to the listed examples.)
before we continue, i think it’s extremely important that we are clear on the differences between emotional, sensual, sexual and romantic attraction.
emotional attraction refers to the desire to engage in emotionally intimate behaviours with another person, like sharing, confiding, trusting, etc. good friends can have strong emotional attraction towards each other.
sensual attraction refers to the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling.
sexual attraction refers to the desire to engage in physically intimate behaviours with another person, like kissing, touching, having intercourse, etc.
romantic attraction refers to the desire to engage in romantic behaviours with another person, like dating, having a relationship, getting married, etc.
debunking a few myths and answering some questions that you may have !!
1. how do i know if i’m demiromantic?
there is no ”right” answer to this question. it all depends on you, and how you feel about romantic attraction.
if you’ve experienced romantic attraction towards a person without being close to them beforehand (as in, very very close! emotionally and mentally) perhaps you are not demiromantic.
here’s a personal example of mine!
if, in childhood, you have seen all your friends experiencing romantic attraction to “strangers” and you feel like the only one who isn’t feeling the same, you might be aromantic.
you are likely demiromantic if: you do not feel this attraction unless it’s someone you are extremely close to, and maybe you think there’s something wrong with you. how could you fall in love with your friend? why do you suddenly feel this attraction only after knowing them for so long?
and maybe you will realise that these feelings, the romantic attraction, are only formed after this strong connection. you may experience the same thing with several people over your life.
i do believe that when a demiromantic falls in love, they fall hard, and it may be hard for them to actually let go of these feelings. these feelings may take from months to years to develop.
a friend who had always just been a friend suddenly seems like they could be so much more — and maybe they could be.
2. does this mean demiromantics cannot feel physical attraction?
as mentioned before, demiromantic does not define your sexual or romantic preference. a demiromantic person can feel sexual attraction to a person they aren’t close with without feeling romantic attraction.
similar to aromantism, demiroms can be e.g bisexual and demi-biromantic.
you may experience sensual/sexual/aesthetic attraction to a person without feeling romantic attraction.
3. attitude towards romance
as a part of the aromantic spectrum, demiromantics may be romance-favourable, romance-indifferent or romance-repulsed.
simply put, a romance-favourable aromantic is an aromantic who enjoys romantic activities, or the concept of romance.
similarly, a romance-indifferent aromantic is a person who is neutral towards romantic activities and the concept, and a romance-repulsed aromantic is someone who dislikes romance.
4. do demiromantics experience romantic attraction to everyone they become close with?
no, we don’t!
there may be many we form deep connections with, but what we feel for them is completely platonic.
each person has their own preferences in romance, whether conscious or unconscious. demiroms don’t fall for just anyone they become good friends with.
having an established close relationship merely allows for the possibility of romantic attraction for the demiromantic person, and this can become romantic or remain platonic.
5. if i’m romantically attracted to one of my friends, does that mean i’m demiromantic?
no.
as mentioned, again, a demiromantic can only feel romantic attraction when there’s already an existing close bond. the idea of falling in love with a close friend does not immediately signify that one is demiromantic.
look out for similar experiences as described here. do you feel romantic attraction only when you’ve become close friends with someone? how deep does your friendship run? how close are you?
understand demiromantics a little better here! <3
we don’t experience crushes on people we don’t know. perhaps we think they are sexually attractive or aesthetically pleasing, but we won’t want to “jump right into” a relationship with said person. even with a friend, or someone we know.
no, we don’t see people in that way, not unless we’ve known them for awhile, unless we’ve formed a deep connection with them. even then, most of the times we don’t see friends like that. our relationships can be completely platonic too!
we do sometimes find it very strange that people develop crushes or want to get into a relationship with someone they don’t even know that well. it’s only because we don’t experience romance that way, and we hope you understand!
if you are with someone who identifies as demiromantic, give them the time to grow close to you. allow them that timeframe and space — really, it’s all we could ask for — your patience and love.
however, i would also like to add that you should not assume someone’s orientation. please ask them beforehand.
again, i would like to mention that i am by no means verified to give claim to all the information present here.
hi! i’m mku, a 16y/o greysexual demiromantic lesbian. i have been your guide for today’s journey in finding yourself — demiromantic style ;)
i sincerely hope this carrd has helped you!
currently i don’t have any public accounts for interaction, so if you have spotted a mistake in this carrd and would like to point it out to me or clarify some doubts and help spread awareness, do email me at [email protected] (feel free to chat me up there! any doubts or questions asked may potentially end up as one of the myth busters or faq here)
i’m also on my journey of self-discovery and have identified as demiromantic for three years now. if i am not misidentified, i want to help you discover yourself too!
it is okay to identify as demiromantic and it’s okay to not identify as demiromantic. there are many, many identities for you to find out there and labels to use.
no matter who you are, you and your experiences are valid.
<3
sources:
< click the links to go to page! >
What Does Demiromantic Mean?
Demiromantic | LGBTA Wiki
What do romantic, emotional and sexual attractions mean?
other links to help you:
What Does It Mean To Be Demiromantic?
Demiromantic | Aromantics Wiki
Arospec Oreientation Quiz
Demiromantic Definition
